The Portiuncula on campus (aka my favorite place in the whole world) has 24hour adoration, which has been such a blessing. I don't know if I've ever been so at peace in any other place. This week, at my hour slot on Wednesday afternoon, however, I was having an incredibly difficult time concentrating. My mind simply could not stay focused...the result? This rather amateur attempt at poetry:
Listening leaves me satisfied;
My words just confuse me,
But, of hearing you, I am denied,
And so my thoughts bemuse me.
In this chapel, defiantly
Praying till I burst,
But, of these pray-ers silently,
I know I am the worst.
Wand'ring thoughts, uncontained:
Wild, independent things.
With them my spotless soul is stained,
Lending Evil wings
To build up walls five feet thick,
Through which I cannot find you,
And, without your healing touch I'm sick
with fears and worries anew.
Gracious Love, can you reach me yet,
Though walls and wings deny
Entrance to a crown with thorns set,
Heedless of my cry?
I'm waiting, pacing back and forth
Within my towered cell.
Yet, lost in dark, which way is North
From whence I think I fell?
Still deeper than the dark which grips
Me close in cold embrace
Are reflections in sweet, crystal tears
That softly grace your face.
You see me here, so tightly bound,
Hopelessly out of reach;
And know that I hear not a sound,
Nor understand your speech.
So save me now, why do you wait
To burst through lock and chain?
And relieve me from this sorry state:
Relinquish all my pain.
But now, a smile, yet barely that,
So sadly it appears
To me, deaf sinner, gazing at
Your visage marked with tears.
And though not a sound or echo
Do I hear in stillness blank,
Your lips form words of sorrow
I find I cannot mistake.
Beautiful Child," First you call;
Then, "How sadly you're mistaken.
If you just believed these walls could fall
Their foundations would be shaken.
For only one can let me in:
One not of evil's make,
Who has listened to the lies of sin,
Into whose heart I will not break."
"Where is he, this power has?"
I frantically replied,
And pounded on the barred glass
To reach His face behind.
Then, "Hush, Be Still," He said,
In tones so rich, and soft and deep,
"Why did you let your fears be fed
By lies so plan and cheap?"
For, all the while you knocked and cried
Yet could not hear my voice,
I waited there, not satisfied
Until you made a choice.
To let me in was yours alone
And no one else could do,
So at your window rocks I've thrown
Until you let me through."
